How to use story to find your path

Most people live in a state of passivity, reacting and waiting for the world to happen.

They go from dreaming while they sleep during the night, to dreaming while they work during the day.

Every now and again, like Neo getting pulled from the Matrix, there are brief moments that completely knock us out of our slumber.

This “active” state often kicks in during times of desperate need.

Getting slapped by an unexpected deadline, an emerging crisis, or a business proposal you’ve been preparing for months.

It’s during these periods of heightened awareness that we’re weirdly energized, focused, and in command.

What used to be random thoughts are suddenly coming to our rescue — as if our conscious and subconscious minds co-conspire to form a temporary alliance.

When the goal is accomplished and crisis averted, we slowly slip back into our shells of security and inner dialogue.

Attention is scattered, focus eradicated, and actions are once again on autopilot.

The Secret Ingredient

There is one simple (yet significant) difference that separates the “alive” from the “dead” state.

Progression towards a goal.

That’s it. That’s the secret sauce.

Every morning, when your eyes meet the day – you are immediately confronted with endless possibilities.

When you don’t have an objective to focus on, everything focuses on you all at once.

This is where the majority of overwhelm, anxiety, and confusion so many people suffer in the age of information – and is only exacerbated with the “go with the flow” attitude.

If on the contrary, you have a clear goal you could focus on.

All your thoughts, behaviours, and actions immediately line up to aid you in whatever it is that stands in your way.

This is how morning routines (the ones that stick) are formed by the way, by navigating towards a defined outcome.

If your first three objectives are to:

1. Hydrate
2. Let the dog out
3. Have a shower

There’s a good chance you’ve automated that process and cleared it of any obstruction.

By simply having a goal (regardless of what or how big it is) three things happen:

1. You are orientated towards something
2. You see obstacles that block your path
3. You see solutions that aid your path

Boom.

Shiny object syndrome be gone.

This is how you stay in the “active” state, where thoughts align, action has purpose, and direction has meaning.

There is no in-between.

No goal, no direction, no purpose.

The question then is:

How do we expand this state, not just as a morning routine but as an entire way of life?

Simple.

By stretching our goal so far beyond the horizon, it provides us with a never-ending story through which we act in.

See the ultimate goal isn’t to hit daily targets per se, otherwise we’ll be stuck in the hamster wheel of wondering what to do next.

The ultimate goal is in elevating our perception of progression, so that the story itself, the journey, becomes the ultimate prize.

If goals are our secret sauce, then it is story that is our secret ingredient.

The Ultimate Story: A Blueprint To The Good Life

How annoying is it when you’ve been anticipating a movie for weeks and someone comes by and tells you the ending was trash?

It’s like dam, way to kill the hype…

Or what about the reverse:

When people tell you about a movie (that you didn’t care for) starts off slow but builds into the most epic ending you’ll ever see.

All of a sudden we’ve now got the appetite.

There’s something about the end, that gives people either a sense of hope or a sense of dread – that completely dictates how people perceive and approach things in their daily lives.

Tell someone their suffering ultimately means nothing and they’ll approach life with apathy, emptiness, and hedonism.

Tell someone their suffering means everything (like raising children) and they’ll carry the weight of that responsibility til their final breath.

Sacrifice is the central theme in all of the greatest narratives ever told.

It’s what has kept our eyes glued to screens, books, drama, and art for thousands of years.

Harry Potter had to sacrifice his parents’ lives, his childhood, and even his own life (resurrection stone for the win).

Frodo had to sacrifice his peaceful life in the shire to carry the burden of the one ring.

And let’s not forget the sacrifice of all sacrifices in the story of Christ; false accusation, betrayal, and crucifixion, bearing the sins of humanity onto the least deserving individual.

Let me be 100% clear.

Sacrifice, as dire and hopeless as it seems – is trading something now for something better later.

It is the winning game.

There is a weird (but common) misconception that sacrifice is a loss.

People who hold this belief lack self-control.

Like chugging down 10 beers and dealing with the hangover later, they cash in their chips early at the expense of future gain.

Do this enough for long enough and you’re playing the loser's game – a game of trading down.

Voluntary sacrifice is a game of trading up.

Harry’s sacrifices led to the defeat of Voldemort and restoration to the wizarding world.

Frodo’s sacrifice led to the defeat of Sauron and restoration to Middle Earth.

Christ’s sacrifice led to the defeat of Sin itself, restoring the promise between God and man.

Your favourite sports figure, singer, actor, author, artist, leader, whatever floats your boat – go through tremendous sacrifice to become as remarkable as they are.

No matter where you want to look, or how you want to spin it, sacrifice – aka willingly giving something now for something better later – is the ultimate story to adopt for a life of meaning and abundance.

We each go through sacrifice regardless of choice; it’s those who know what they’re sacrificing for and why who are the ultimate winners.

The Ultimate Sacrifice – Your Hero Story

Let’s do a quick recap:

1. To activate the “alive” state we need to progress toward a goal.

2. To stay in that state we need to elevate our goal beyond the horizon (our North Star) to expand the frame through which we progress in (story).

3. The ultimate story to adopt as seen by the books we read, movies we watch, and people we admire is one of sacrifice.

4. We all live in a state of sacrifice: It’s those who are aware of what they’re sacrificing for and why that have the bargaining power to trade their way up to a better life.

We have the power to create both the what and the why through our Vision.

A vision is your story. Your Hero’s Story.

It is the script you write at the back of your mind at all times that filters your perspective and guides your “character’s” identity, decisions, & actions.

It is your life’s work, the ideal future that we are sacrificing for, and your North Star that forever guides you into the unknown.

Now I’m not saying you need to battle evil tyrants and save the world (although that is an option), what I am saying is you need to have something worth fighting for (and against) that summons you into the adventure of your life.

See the moment you create an ideal, you immediately create its ugly twin – an Anti-Vision.

The tragic story that will write itself if you don’t answer the “call to adventure” that comes with pursuing your ideal self (which is why people avoid it).

Think of it as the Anti-Hero story to your Hero story.

It is the future that awaits if you don’t do anything about it.

The outcome of avoiding your responsibility and sacrifices.

The adversary lurking and waiting to take your higher self out of the picture at all cost.

It is this constant push and pull, good vs evil, that is the perspective shift we must frame for our lives so that we can confront chaos with courage and forthrighteousness.

We will be self-authoring these stories of ours in my upcoming project — The North Star.

I’m super excited to share.

Thank you for reading.

— Mat