How to find direction in a world full of distraction

“Comply, or lose your job”

Ever since I can remember, I’ve always been conflicted with the pursuit of potential and the pursuit of security.

I constantly assured myself, that if I just did what I was told – get good grades, get into university, get a good job, secure the bag, I could eventually pick up from where I left off as a kid and pursue the things that I actually want in life.

I like to think that you've also contemplated such a dilemma.

The cookie-cutter template I just described is pretty much drilled into our impressionable minds from day one.

Naturally, being young and ignorant, we defer our decision-making to people with more "life experience."

It starts with our parents pushing us into certain career paths; our teachers preparing us for corporate life; and then our employers who hold us financially hostage.

Before you know it, we’re so far gone we've forgotten where we left off as children, and become dependent on the system like rats in a cage.

The first time I got a real taste of that bitter pill, was when I observed my seniors, the top dogs at my workplace as a projection of where I would end up if I’d continue on the path that I was on.

That gut feeling would always win no matter how much I wanted to spin it in my favour.

Cope voice: “But they make 300K a year!”

Gut voice: “Yeah but they’re like 60, have no life outside of work, and they’re always fucking miserable.”

Since I’d only just started, had sacrificed years of education, and tens of thousands in student debt, naturally, my rational brain assured me that I should get more experience before I made drastic assumptions.

I was also making 6 figures in my first year, so yeah, the golden handcuffs were well and truly on.

Then 2020 happened.

The year toilet paper became the gold standard and every man and his dog became a public health expert. I worked in the petroleum industry, so I often flew to different locations for site work.

Rumours began to swirl about jab mandates and eventually, the message became very clear.

Comply, or lose your job.

Now I don’t want to devolve this into a political debate on which side of the fence you stand on (I think we're all still recovering from that fiasco), but while most people were debating on which side was killing grandma, I was battling a different dilemma.

My self-interrogation revealed just how powerless, how little leverage, and how replaceable I truly was.

The best part is I had no one to blame but myself, and the conflict that had been boiling beneath the surface this whole time finally caught up.

I finally realized that placing the security of my future in the hands of others — is the least secure strategy.

Public Enemy #1

When we’re young, a seed is planted.

We’re told we can be anything we want, do anything we set our minds to, and that our potential is limitless.

But somewhere down the line the narrative shifts. Our spirit gets knocked around and we become self-conscious of our own abilities.

The greatest enemy of society isn’t cowardice, but blind conformity.

99% of people walk around in life with no vision, no clue where they are, or where they want to go. Instead, they outsource their vision externally and follow the directions other people assign to them.

It is only during times of crisis when the rug is pulled and we're caught holding the bag, that the price of blind loyalty is revealed for what it's truly worth.

This is what results in so many feeling lost, aimless, and purposeless.

Sadly, I speak from experience.

Map of Meaning: The Cure to Conformity

Ever found it fascinating that someone could have absolutely nothing going for them in life, but as soon as they have a child, suddenly their life has meaning and purpose?

Or what about that project you've been working on for months, watching it slowly come together, piece by piece as it begins to reflect the vision you had from the beginning?

There is something supremely powerful about the process of creation.

This is because creation is the birthplace of responsibility, and responsibility is the birthplace of meaning.

It is this deep sense of meaning, that justifies the necessary existence of suffering that comes with the struggle of life — Like a parent to their child, a painter to their painting, or a writer to their novel.

But how does "creation" and "meaning" apply to someone who feels lost?

Let's look at it with a simple example:

When you're lost, what is the first thing you instinctively pull out?

You grab your phone, pull up Google Maps, and punch in the location. Simple.

Life is no different.

The first thing you need when you’re lost in life is orientation.

To be oriented to something of value, so that the time and energy you expend progressing forward has genuine purpose.

We do this by creating our own version of “Google” maps, an inner personal Map of Meaning – to replace the false maps given to us by society.

A map gives you the power to do three things:

1. Helps you identify where you currently are

2. Helps you identify where you want to avoid

3. Helps you identify where you want to go next

But how do you identify that destination of value?

Life isn’t as simple as typing in McDonalds into an app, is it?

Actually, it is. Let’s use that very example so that I can prove the same principles apply.

When you type McDonalds into your map, you don’t actually want to go to McDonalds, you want to satisfy your current state of hunger first and foremost.

A Big Mac just happened to be the most convenient in terms of time, location, & cost, etc.

It is your unbearable present that ultimately motivates you to mobilise.

Since there’s basically a McDonald’s on every corner, we don’t typically play out the scenario of starvation and death, nor do we want to think about something so unpleasant.

It is this unpleasant vision that represents the “evil twin” to the one where we're satisfying our hunger.

It is your version of “hell” against your version of “heaven”, a villain to the hero, an Anti-Vision to your Ideal-Vision.

Here’s the simple truth:

Most people sweep their “hell” under the rug by escaping and indulging in immediate pleasures, eliminating that natural sense of urgency.

The same urgency our ancestors relied on when risking their lives fighting sabre-toothed tigers and hunting mammoths.

The First Step: Creating your Vision

The first step to orienting yourself toward the ideal is to first, face away from everything that is non-ideal.

By creating first in the internal world (mind), the external world (matter) will begin to shift to your new perspective.

Action: Block out 30 minutes of undisturbed time, grab a pen and some paper, and ask yourself:

1. Who do I not want to become?

2. What do I want to avoid at all costs?

3. Where do I not want to end up?

4. Why do I not want these things?

Meditate, visualize, and write down as much as you can without regard for spelling, grammar, or structure. Some questions may prompt further questions, let it flow. The only grader is yourself, and a passing score is honesty.

As you begin to gain clarity on what you don't want in life, the path of the ideal will begin to narrow and narrow until it becomes too obvious to miss.

It will take some time and practice, your life is not going to change overnight, but remember that you can’t aim at what you can’t see.

It can be easy to think that visualization is trivial, but what is the alternative? Just going with the flow is the best way to build a life you don’t want, and we are already doing amazing at that.

If you are lost in life, this is the starting line.

This is an introduction to an ongoing series where I walk through the entire process from lost to found. I’ve spent countless hours on books, videos, podcasts, and anything else that I could get my hands on — and I will be laying out and simplifying everything into concrete action for you to walk with purpose.

This week we covered the creation of our vision — The Map. Next week, I’ll cover how to turn your vision into a system of navigation, The Compass. I hope you found this issue useful and thank you for reading.

Until next week,

— Mat.